Come take a trip down the red-brick road to this 1984 Spanish-inspired estate in Houston, TX!

The realtor loved to note the “finest materials” used by the “best workmanship” to build the property. While that might be true, all this home proves is that money doesn’t buy taste. Let’s head inside…

I was NOT expecting this from the outside. We’ve just walked into the ballroom of a pirate-themed cruise ship! Plus, those green lights? Maybe the ship is haunted.

Off the main… hull of the ship, and behind a glass wall, is a living room space with a full wall of mirrors.

Confusion persists as the kitchen has two islands, each with a different stovetop type. Maybe there’s one for hibachi entertainment? Got to keep those guests entertained on the high seas!

As we tour the rest of the house, the maritime vibes continue, and with all the wood paneling and custom features, it’s starting to feel a little bit… D-I-Why?

While a unique work of architecture, these stairs look like a bad optical illusion. It’s giving me a headache… and that first step is also a major tripping hazard! Let’s move on. 

Speaking of tripping hazards… check out this multi-level primary bathroom! There’s a lot of mismatched marble and wood tiling in here, and I have no clue what style the owners were going for.

But then, continuing the cruise ship vibes in this bathroom, we have a shell-shaped sink!

Outside, there’s a guest house for the land-lubbers and a unique palazzo-like back patio.

It may not be for kids to run around, with its tiled ground, working fountain, and artisan archways, but I guess that’s just what comes with the sleek cruise ship aesthetic.

If you want to learn more about West University Place or any other neighborhood, check out the neighborhoods feature on Homes.com.

Til next time,

Jess @Homes.tastrophes

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