What’s up, friends?

Today’s home is a hideaway, separated from civilization… surrounded by 4.3 acres of private land… nobody can hear you scream, when you see the questionable decor inside!

Deep in the redwood forests of Trinidad, CA, there’s a 1-bed, 1-bath property from 1965. There might be “hand crafted” and “artistic” details, but with barely 1k sqft, the $699,000 price tag is… a bit egregious (but, yes, the location is gorgeous). 

Wind through the dirt paths and huge trees, to approach the front steps of this home. This front door almost looks like a gazebo was glued to the entrance. It’s cute. It’s naturey. And the Forest King green mask hanging above the door is our first sign that we’re in for a treat.

Inside, we’re immediately greeted with… a micro-palace? I know I noted how there’s only 1 bedroom here, but this is not that. This royally-adorned daybed is truly the last thing I expected to walk into.

One thing that you’ll notice this home does very well: select a beautiful, vibrant shade of paint. All of the colors pop in such an expensive way. It’s like we’re the king and queen of our own palace… if that palace was pathetic (to palace standards only, obvi).

Do royalty open the window to let in fresh air? Nah, they open the wall.

A kitchen fit for a king -if that king had no subjects, and still wanted to live in a vague Medieval Times, given the cabinetry and ceiling decor.

You know this place was at least inspired by the maximalism of royal money because even the hallway is detailed!

In the primary/only bedroom, this luscious blue color takes over the room. Complemented by gold accents, the ceiling and painting frame -wait, that’s not a painting…

That gold frame is a window?! The view outside is just that gorgeous? Wow. Maybe this is the royal treatment.

To ensure we fit in with the proper royal etiquette, how about wash-up in the bathroom?

No, the washer-dryer is not in the singular bathroom of this home… yet both spaces have the same blue accents, adornments, and water features… so it felt right to put them together. Can you really blame me?

Right before we head outside, I’d like to call attention to this door way: emerald green tile, metalwork in the glass of the door, and a semi-modern antique furnace have all been wrapped in log cabin wood. 

This home couldn’t pit a singular, nor cohesive, aesthetic even if I forced it. And I’m very passive-aggressively trying to do that right now, to no avail.

Outside, the backyard patio has plenty of space to ponder humanity (relax), cook a feast (grill), and fear the guillotine (because you fear your subjects will overthrow you).

At least you can show off in your fully unexposed-exposed outdoor shower. Do I understand this? Not at all. But, given the secluded nature of the property, all you need to fear is a deer watching you shower. And the deer wouldn’t mind because deer don’t wear clothes.

Your royal garden has the bones to be great. Your wood shed is packed for the winter. And your detached garage is the perfect spot to build an underground bunker to hide in, when your people overthrew your merciless reign.  

Well, it was fun to play Kings and Queens for the afternoon, but I’m ready to return to the simple life. Back to civilization, back to reality, and back to finding more unique (and sometimes disastrous) homes, just for you !! ☺️

Sarah @Hometastrophes