Homes.tastrophes
February 19, 2024

No Lies Detected…

What’s new, friends?

I don’t like to throw around the word ‘palatial’ very often, but at over 23,500 square feet, this impressive Houston mansion fits the bill (and this one isn’t even the largest home in its exclusive neighborhood). And since it sits on 3.7 acres of land, it doesn’t take up its entire property the way some urban palaces do. Shall we?

Front and back views of the main house first!

Sports car not included, I would assume.

And the rest of the property…pool, guest house, horse stable with living quarters, sheds, and a pasture:

Horses not included, either, if I had to venture a guess.

There are a TON of cool spaces in this giant house, and it was hard to narrow down my favorites. With multiple kitchen and living areas, this one caught my eye–it manages to be cozy and welcoming, even in the midst of this marble megalith:

And of the 7 bedrooms, this en suite is pretty lavish with neutral palette and a sitting area.

Plus, that fireplace is swaggy without being over the top.

Then there is, hands down, my favorite closet in the whole place. Did someone order an entire department store? (I wanna know what’s in those drawers!)

There are 14 bathrooms, too. Want to see a couple? Of course, you do. Do you fancy a soak in this tub?

Or this one?

There are also sitting rooms, offices, bedroom balconies, and cool staircases…

Handsome poodle also not included, I’m sure.

Let’s check out the pool and poolhouse! Here’s the view from the poolhouse portico looking toward the main house:

This building was designed with entertaining in mind, with a spacious kitchen, pizza oven, football-field-sized dining table, and billiards lounge.

And we can’t forget to take a look at the stable, which is remarkably spotless for essentially being a horse house.

There’s one thing I don’t understand about the listing. It says the house is “located in proximity to luxury lifestyle amenities,” but I looked on the map, and the closest businesses to this property are a Kroger and an Outback Steakhouse. I must have missed something. 

Regardless, I don’t have a cool $9.5 million to spend on this house anyway. What do you think, friends? Are you heading to Houston or taking a hard pass?

‘Til next time!

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