Zillowtastrophes
December 18, 2023

What’s new, friends?

Well, I finally got my tree up, and I tried out the trend of tying bows on it. It was easy and really helped pull the room together.

Now ask me if I’m finished with Christmas shopping (actually, don’t; I’m still in denial that Christmas is only a week away.😱)

As you know, with the holidays inevitably come houseguests. But if you’re like me, you barely have enough room in your house as it is, so let’s do some private compound shopping, shall we?

Today, I’m taking you to see a 20-acre compound in central California. After that, stick around for some more 🏘️Captivating Compounds, some 🌟Maximalist Maisons (a feast for the senses… or a barrage, depending on who you ask), three 🏰Castle Condos (your chance to live in a castle for less than a King’s ransom), and lastly some 🏀Hoop-Dreams Homes (three former schools with massive indoor basketball courts).

For our main event, we’re headed to a listing with 20 acres in the San Joaquin Valley, also known as dairy country, where you’ll have more than enough room for your holiday guests… but this ain’t your granddaddy’s farm. 

This compound is complete with all the amenities to make you never want to leave home, but let’s start inside with the kitchen.

Counter space, commercial appliances, a breakfast nook, and a generous pantry make this great for entertaining. But what’s that I see in the background?

You’ve built your own paradise with room for entertaining, but I hope your guests don’t mind being stared at by some exotic stuffed animals. *shudder 

Moving right along… the house is 3,200 square feet with three large bedrooms, including a primary suite that’s certainly unique. How many bedrooms have you seen that have a butler’s pantry (complete with wine fridge) built in? 

Not only that but on the other side of the fireplace is your bathroom, which is basically a home-spa. With all this holiday craziness, I could use that jacuzzi tub right about now… 🧖‍♀️

Feel free to check out the rest of the interior (see if you can spot the sad clown painting 🤡), but I don’t want to spend too much time inside because there are so many other amenities on this property.

Pool, streams, koi pond—there is no shortage of water features, and they are all pretty cool. Look at this dock on the pond. I have no idea why it needs a gated entry, but maybe their koi are sensitive creatures who like their privacy.

This property also has not one but two outdoor kitchens, and they are stocked. Pizza ovens, barbecue grills, refrigerators, and even a misting system for those hot summer days…

Love cars? How about an 8-car garage and workshop with space for all your toys? 

Need space for a horse or two? How about a herd of cows? There is plenty of that, too, with barns, stables, and pastures suitable for your favorite livestock. 

This is definitely a one-of-a-kind property, and aside from the taxidermy, I do really like it. It’s private, it’s expansive, and it’s suited to a wide variety of hobbies. I don’t love the price tag—$2.7 million. What do you think, friends? Worth the money, or pass on it, honey? 

Looking forward to popping into your inboxes on Christmas morning next week!

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